it snowed on april nineteenth.

if you live in minnesota, you know that it is nearly impossible to ignore this weather we're having. especially when it snows 8 inches on april 19th. everywhere you go - "WHY is there SNOW on the ground!?" or "but actually. it's APRIL" or sometimes even "SERIOUSLY MOTHER NATURE IS ON DRUGS LIKE WUT IS GOING ON".

the weather is actually the only thing we are capable of talking about right now.
guilty as charged.

but after reading this post, i decided to embrace the snow.
i mean. it is beautiful.

so that's when i texted the twinsters. ashley and jamie. they're my photography mentors. oh. i don't think i've ever introduced them. kay. we're gonna back up a few months.

last october, or november, i think it was november, i decided it'd be smart to have more exposure to the photography world and the people involved. so i googled 'minneapolis based photographers'. and i searched for a good 60 minutes. didn't really find much. then i saw 'ash & james photography' in the ads bar. i thought oh married photographers that's cool. so i clicked. and then i died. i was all a;lsjdlgha;l THEIR WORK. they were perfect. then i realized oh. this james person is actually a girl. WOAH STOP THE BUS THEY'RE TWINS!? james. short for jamie. gotcha. so that's when i sent them an email saying something along the lines of 'hey. you're work is killer. coffee some time?'. and they replied something like 'um yes!'. so we met up. talked and laughed and talked and laughed some more. and then they we're like 'we've been considering offering mentor sessions but haven't exactly had the right audience. how about we do one?' on the outside i was like 'seriously!? yes!' but on the inside i was all WUT WHAT WUUUUT. YES HOW COULD I EVER SAY NO. THIS IS AWESOME I LOVE YOU THE END. we finished our coffees, hugged, and walked away happy. really happy. a few weeks later we met over coffee again. this time it was the day of the mentor session. now, there is no way i could ever explain how amazing that day was, but here's a brief rundown of what went on:

we meet for coffee and they meet my mom. mom leaves. we talk. we laugh. jamie accidentally gets two coffees. she's hyper. we move to jamie's house. it's purple. it's also locked. she has no key. we go next door to see if neighbor has an extra key. she's old and cute and has a cat. she also has a key. we rejoice. we sit down at their office space. cute, by the way. and they hand me a packet made specially for me, for notes. three hours fly by while i ask questions and they show me their ways. the lights is heavenly outside. we take pictures in it. correction: they take pictures of me in it. we get hungry. we eat. then we say goodbye.

i went to sleep feeling on top of the world. since then, we've met up a few more times. including yesterday. which brings me back to where i started. so i texted ashley and asked if they wanted to shoot some pictures in the snow after school. they did. and so that's how these came into existence.

note: they let me use their 50mm 1.2L AND their 35mm 1.4L. i was like a kid on christmas morning!!

LOVE this one.

so much derp.

i'm so thankful to have these wonderful ladies in my life. xo

four frames from today.

today was awesome. i'll leave it at that.

a follow up.

okay. i just wanted to say THANK YOU. y'all are seriously amazing. i really appreciate the prayers. seereeeusleee. you want to know what kind of a day i had today? an amazing one. that's what. thank you thank you thank you! it just shows how amazing God is. 

love. you. guys.

gah.

so here's the deal. i'm writing this, tears down my face, and my winter coat still on. i just got home. fifteen hours out of the house.

this has been my life.
everyday.
for the past two months.

wake up at 6.
go to school.
learn.
go to practice.
go to ______.
get home late.
cry.
go to bed.
sleep for 6 hours.
repeat.

it hasn't been pretty. and i don't want you to think it is. some of you may follow my instagram and/or twitter. i do both. a lot. but do not get me wrong when i say my life is not perfect. i fight a constant battle with my school life and my social life. i wish for a life i can't have. i stress myself out over homework. i strive for perfectionism. but i will never get it.

last year i decided to embark on the journey of IB diploma.  (basically all advanced classes.) ha. you guys. i am an insane woman because of it. and i am nearing my breaking point.

i haven't posted in two months. and i just wanted you to know that i still exist. and that i'm not perfect. because i see a lot of bloggers out there that appear to live perfect lives. don't fall for it. no one is perfect.

love you guys. :)

p.s. prayers would sooo be appreciated.

p.p.s. this is a really vulnerable post. please be nice.

women i love // valentines day

though i spent valentine's day single (quite alright with me), i wanted to blog in the spirit of february 14 and all things love (one day late). the past few months have been part of the journey of really discovering who i am and who God created me to be. and to be honest, it's been really fricking awesome. seriously, i love where it's going. but i haven't walked this path alone. since the day i was born, there have been several women who have walked in and out of my life and many have stayed long enough to make their mark on me. i want to take this time to appreciate them. give them the thanks they deserve. because, whether they realize it or not, these women have played a huge part in me becoming who i am today.

//mom
you were the first woman in my life and you will be the last to leave my heart. seriously. i don't even know what i would do with out you. i am sososososoooo thankful for all the love and support and patience and love and more love you have provided me with all my life. how many people get a mom like you? God has reallllllly blessed me with you. DON'T YOU DOUBT IT. i can honestly say that i don't know who i would be without you. you've taught me. comforted me. pushed me. pulled me. hugged me. kissed me. and most of all, ALWAYS been there for me. i see so much of you in me. and so much of me in you. the other day one of my friends asked me if i'm best friends with you, because we just seem to get along all the time. and you know what? i guess that's true. you are truly one of my best friends. and i love it. not everyone has a relationship like we do. so thank you for following me, guiding me, and walking next to me on this journey of discovering who i am. as a daughter. woman. and child of God. xoxo

//ashley & jamie
i haven't shared much about you two on this little blog of mine. probably because i'm still processing everything you have given me. offered me. i've only known the two of you a total of five months and can already call you some of my best friends. you have no idea how much of an inspiration you are to me. really. what if i told you i got bangs again because you, ashley, ROCKED them. (i still don't approve of you growing them out. i will never let you forget.) ;) and what if i said i tried liquid eyeliner because you, jamie, are a frickin' beast at lining your eyes with liquid. (i guess the downside of only knowing you five months is that i still can't tell you apart, ESPECIALLY with you growing your bangs out ashley. ashley.) anyways, what i really want to say is that i cannot tell you how generous and caring and amazing the two of you have been to me. you have helped me realize who i want to be and how i'm going to go about being that person. i love your passion for photography. and i guess your photos aren't half bad. ;) and i guess i just secretly love that you never let me buy my coffee. you two will always have a place in my heart. and we are due for another chatchat. just sayin'.
*followers, stay tuned for some more raving about these girlies. i haven't told you nothin' yet.

//natalie
girl. do you know how much i looked up to you as my babysitter? and how much i look up to you now as my friend? you are a flipping natural with people. you have a seriously stellar smile. and don't even get me started on how inspiring your relationship with God is. did you know that i bought my first 'big black camera' because you had one? you were my idol. i want to be all things natalie. four years later and i now realize that is neither possible, nor necessary. you have shown me that i have so much potential. so much to offer. i can be anything. God created me to be me. not natalie. but there are parts of natalie, you, that i admire. and that i want to be. loving. open. caring. just plain awesome. you are one of the main reasons i am who i am today. and i want to thank you so much for showing interest in me. and my story. and for supporting me. and loving me. and just being natalie. because sometimes natalie is just who i need.

//erin
you've made a lot of appearances on this corner of the universe. i'm sure my followers know you almost as well as they know me. but you are just too wonderful to hide away. i love you. you are one of the most amazing girls i have ever met. you are a best friend. a truly beautiful wonderful amazing friend. you know what i love about you? i can always. always. count on you to cheer me up. always. we both have our ups and downs, but i'd rather spend them with you than most anyone else. our adventures are special to me. we get lost. we laugh. we get way too hyper. we laugh. we blast the music. we laugh. every adventure is fun and crazy and absolutely unforgettable. i just can't sum up our friendship in a paragraph. you know how they say if you're around someone long enough, you'll start turning into them. ya. no doubt that's happening. you are literally making me me. thank you for walking beside me on this journey, whether you realized it or not. i love you for it. oh and i haven't seen you in about three weeks. what is this blasphemy?

//anne
last but most definitely not least. anne. we have maintained and nurtured and developed a friendship across 1500 miles and 10 years. and every time we talk i laugh. i don't just laugh. i laugh until it seriously hurts. like, really hurts. we have something special. you are golden. you are beautiful. and i love your enthusiasm for life. you just can't keep a smile off your face. i LOVE it. ANNE! i miss you so much! i love you so much! you have the kind of outlook on life that i want. i love your smile and your laugh. they are constantly radiating joy. you have been a part of my life since birth. and because of it, you have helped me to become the person i am today. thank. you. i look forward to our next skype sesh. which reminds me, when will that be? xoxoxoxoxo





there are so many women in my life and these are just a few that have really had an impact on me. i want to thank each an every woman that has walked me through this journey. the journey of me discovering me. it wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for you guys. girls. i love you. and want to thank you. and happy happy (belated) val-day!!

high on life

i've been riding through life on a high lately. an inspiration high, that is. i'm realizing how exciting the future can be. i'm figuring out who i am. and i'm loving every second of it. i'm trying not to let anything get me down. school. money. stress. fagettaboutit. life is about living and adventures and stories. and that's how i intend to live.

all of this inspiration has got me rethinking me. my brand. who i am as not only a photographer, but as an artist. it's people like hannah and andria and promise that have me realizing that i don't have to box myself into one career. i am free to be who i want. when i want. as i want. as a result, i've noticed myself growing. i'm rooted deeper in the word of god. i'm more comfortable with who i am. i keep coming back to 'bold'. i feel bold. i'm drawn to bold. i want to be bold.

so as i begin to figure out just what that means, i leave you with a mix of some songs that make me want to create. inspire. be bold. and i also leave you with some photos i took early september just before the temperatures began to drop. it was a shoot meant to capture life in one of my favorite spots in minneapolis. i plan on doing so many more of these. because seriously it was so much fun.